Author: Elif Shafak
Genre: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Spirituality, Literary Fiction
Pages: 368
Publication Date: February 9, 2009
I don’t remember another Turkish writer becoming as famous in Armenia as Elif Shafak, especially considering the historically complex and often strained Armenian-Turkish relationship. So, you can imagine my skepticism when I first started reading The Forty Rules of Love.
Initially, I thought it would be a love story with perhaps 40 lessons on love, but I was surprised to find it started with religious and mystical themes. When I reached the first rule of Shams, I thought, “This is serious,” and I finished the book in just a few days. To be honest, I read it twice in order to write a proper summary and review.
Here’s what the first rule said:
“How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame within us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.”
As the author later adds, “If you’re not happy with the people surrounding you, the rule is that you are the one to blame.” Did I dislike the bond between Shafak and me? Absolutely not. Did I like the book? Absolutely yes. Let me give you a brief synopsis of the story, followed by the full summary. If you’re here just for the review, feel free to scroll down.
Synopsis without spoilers
Ella is a housewife in Northampton, stuck in a marriage she’s unhappy with. Then, her daughter decides to get married, and the whole thing overwhelms her. So, she decides to get a job at a publishing house, and that’s where she gets her hands on a manuscript from a writer named Aziz called Sweet Blasphemy. As she starts reading, she meets Shams and Rumi—Shams is inspired by the Persian poet and dervish, Shams Tabrizi, and Rumi is based on the famous Sufi poet, Jalaluddin Rumi, from the 1200s.
In the book, Shams asks God not to have any dreams, and God granted him the wish. From that point on, whenever Shams has a vision, he knows it’s something out of the ordinary. The book starts with Shams having a vision of himself looking back at us from a well, so you already know something mystical is going on—and that there’s going to be a murder.
Shams’ angel guardian tells him to go to Baghdad, where he’s supposed to meet his true soulmate. He becomes a wandering dervish and eventually meets Baba Zaman, a teacher who takes a real liking to him. One day, Baba Zaman gets a letter from one of his students about Rumi, a brilliant teacher looking for a companion. After a year of waiting the teacher lets Shams and Rumi meet, and their bond is so intense that it creates a lot of jealousy around them. This puts Rumi’s reputation on the line, and things start to get complicated.
Full summary with the ending
The story is told through the eyes of different characters: Suleyman the Drinker, Shams, Rumi, Rumi’s second wife Kerra, his adopted daughter Kimya, his two sons Aladdin and Sultan Valad, Rose (a prostitute), Beglar, and the killer. The book gives us the full plot, but it also dives deep into each character’s pain and perspective.
When Shams arrives in the city, he visits the mosque where Rumi is supposed to give a speech. Before Rumi takes the stage, Shams notices a group of people getting angry because Rose, a woman from the brothel, is visiting the mosque dressed as a man. The fact that she’s from the brothel only makes them more furious. But Shams steps in and protects her, which reminded me of the moment in the Bible when Jesus says, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Back to the plot—when Shams meets Rumi, he asks him a powerful question: “Who is greater—Muhammad, who said he did not know God his whole life, or a Sufi who says he carries God inside him?”
Rumi thinks for a moment and answers that every soul is like a bowl. The bigger the bowl, the harder it is to fill. Maybe the Sufi’s soul isn’t as deep and can be filled with just a little light, while Muhammad’s soul was vast and could take much longer to fill.
This marked the beginning of many deep conversations between Shams and Rumi, which would stretch over forty days, locked away in Rumi’s library.
Rumi’s wife and children didn’t like Shams, feeling he had taken their father and husband away from them. But what made things worse was that, after forty days, Shams had such influence over Rumi that he even convinced him to go to a tavern and get wine—something Rumi never did, nor did he associate with tavern folk. Shams also welcomed Rose, the prostitute, into Rumi’s home, and soon the whole town knew that she had found shelter there. Throughout all this, Shams kept quoting his 40 rules and kept hinting that his mission was to turn Rumi into a poet.
The anger and hatred around Shams grew. The last straw came when Aladdin, who was in love with Kemya (Rumi’s adopted daughter), saw that Kemya preferred Shams.
But Shams, for all his power, never touched Kemya; for him, everything was about spirituality, and his focus was on reaching higher spiritual heights. Over time, Kemya became so desperate that she died.
In a fit of rage and heartbreak, Aladdin hired the famous killer, and he too participated in Shams’ murder. They threw Shams into the well, just as he had envisioned. But the strangest thing happened: the group who murdered him never heard the splash of water. It was as though Shams had become a spirit and disappeared. That moment would haunt the killer for the rest of his life.
After Shams’ death, Rumi became a famous poet, but his words were now drenched in loss, grief, and emptiness—the “fifth element” of the Sufis—filling his soul. Every word he spoke now had the weight and beauty of a poet’s.
Shams’ mission was complete.
Ella, the main character, falls in love with Aziz as she reads his story. She becomes deeply moved by his philosophy and his connection to Shams and Rumi. Through her exchanges with Aziz, she not only falls in love with him but also begins to experience her own spiritual awakening. Eventually, Ella decides to leave her husband for Aziz.
At the end of the novel, after Aziz’s death in Konya, Ella is inspired by his work and the transformative journey of the characters in the book. She chooses to forgive those who have wronged her, including her family and her husband. Ultimately, Ella decides to go to Konya, the city that is central to Rumi’s life and the story of Shams and Rumi. There, she finds peace and decides to focus on her personal growth and spiritual journey, much like the characters in the book she had read.
My review of 40 rules of love
“God is inside the heart of a true lover.” I believe Shafak wrote a book that represents a universal religion. In the rules of Shams, followers of Islam, Christianity, Buddhism and any other religion can find truth and wisdom. Christianity, too, teaches that God is not confined to the church—He is everywhere. Jesus teaches us kindness and compassion through His actions, showing us how to love and care for our neighbor, whether they are a humble peasant or a despised woman. And the last rule out of 40 ones proves what I just said: “Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western. Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions.”
In the rules of Shams, I found many reflections from the Quran, which makes sense considering that Sufism is deeply rooted in Islam.
Shafak grew deeply interested in Rumi’s philosophy and poetry, and I assume she studied his life closely, finding his thoughts and ideas inspiring enough to build a story around him. In one of her interviews, Shafak mentioned how Rumi’s identity is disputed across different cultures. For example, Turks claim him as a Turkish poet, while Afghans argue that because he was born in Afghanistan, he must be Afghan, not Turkish. Persians, on the other hand, consider him a Persian poet because of the language he wrote in, while Greeks argue that his work in Greek makes him a Greek poet. In essence, Rumi was a poet who transcended boundaries—a universal poet, not belonging to any one culture or identity.
It made perfect sense to me that Rumi’s illumination came after losing his dear friend Shams. It’s the kind of honest, profound grief that only a poet with true depth and vulnerability can express. Strong, raw feelings like that are what convince a reader of a poet’s authenticity. Shams said – “The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary.”
You don’t need to open Wikipedia or study Sufism to understand The Forty Rules of Love. The book is written in such a way that anyone open to exploring the spiritual side of religion can understand its core message. And at the heart of it, the book teaches us that love is the key to everything. With a soul full of love, you can be compassionate, forgiving, and help others rise. It’s through love that we can reach divine peace—an honest, pure love that connects us to the divine. I have to quote Shams again: “It’s easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings with all their imperfections and defects.”
What’s beautiful is that you don’t have to belong to any particular group or tradition. You belong only to yourself and to the God within you. “Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. – says Shams.”
However, I don’t entirely agree with this last statement. As a mother, I can’t imagine not belonging to my child, and perhaps that’s where my view diverges from Rumi’s. He was already 38 and had grown children, but I think it wasn’t entirely fair to his wife, Kerra, who even changed her religion to be with him.
But even if I don’t agree with everything Rumi did, that’s what makes this book so great—it opens up space for discussion. You don’t have to agree with every idea in a book for it to have a powerful impact. The way The Forty Rules of Love invites conversation makes it a great book to discuss with friends, exploring different perspectives and interpretations.
Time to rate the book, right? Let’s rate it 9 out of 10. I really liked it!
About the author
Elif Shafak is a renowned Turkish-British author, known for her rich storytelling and exploration of themes such as identity, culture, and love. Born in France in 1971, Shafak writes in both Turkish and English, and her works often address the complexities of life in modern Turkey, as well as the intersections between East and West. She is the author of several critically acclaimed novels, including The Forty Rules of Love, which blends historical fiction with mystical teachings, and 10 Minutes 38 Seconds in This Strange World, which explores themes of memory, friendship, and loss. Shafak is recognized for her thought-provoking writing, which often delves into social and political issues, and she is one of Turkey’s most widely read contemporary authors.
Here are the 40 Rules of Love as taught by Shams of Tabriz in The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak:
Rule 1
How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.
Rule 2
The path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge and ultimately prevail over your nafs (self, psyche, soul) with your heart. Knowing your ego will lead you to the knowledge of God.
Rule 3
You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.
Rule 4
Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.
Rule 5
Most of the world’s problems stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstanding. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language, as we know it, becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.
Rule 6
Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.
Rule 7
Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied.
Rule 8
Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.
Rule 9
East, west, south, or north makes little difference. No matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey a journey within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wide world and beyond.
Rule 10
The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.
Rule 11
The quest for love changes the user. There is no seeker among those who search for love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for love, you start to change within and without.
Rule 12
There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them.
Rule 13
Try not to resist the changes, which come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?
Rule 14
God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.
Rule 15
It’s easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human being with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only know what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God.
Rule 16
Real faith is the one inside. The rest simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.
Rule 17
The whole universe is contained within a single human being-you. Everything that you see around, including the things that you might not be fond of and even the people you despise or abhor, is present within you in varying degrees. Therefore, do not look for Shaitan (devil) outside yourself either. The devil is not an extraordinary force that attacks from without. It is an ordinary voice within. If you set out to know yourself fully, facing honesty and hardness.
Rule 18
If you want to change the ways others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.
Rule 19
Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That is the hardest part and that is what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow.
Rule 20
We were all created in His image, and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No hearts beat to the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so. Therefore, disrespecting differences and imposing your thoughts on others is an amount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme.
Rule 21
When a true lover of God goes into a tavern, the tavern becomes his chamber of prayer, but when a wine bibber goes into the same chamber, it becomes his tavern. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearance. Sufis do not judge other people on how they look or who they are. When a Sufi stares at someone, he keeps both eyes closed instead opens a third eye – the eye that sees the inner realm.
Rule 22
Life is a temporary loan and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of Reality. Only children would mistake a toy for the real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy your inner balance. Sufis do not go to extremes. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate.
Rule 23
The human being has a unique place among God’s creation. “I breathed into him of My Spirit,” God says. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, just how often do you behave like a delegate, if you ever do so? Remember, it fells upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it.
Rule 24
Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone we tumble straight into the fires of hell.
Rule 25
Each and every reader comprehends the Holy Qur’an on a different level of tandem with the depth of his understanding. There are four levels of insight. The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of the people are content with. Next is the Batin – the inner level. Third, there is the inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to remain indescribable.
Rule 26
The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.
Rule 27
Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you. Therefore, if there is someone who harbours ill thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will only make matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice things about that person. Everything will be different at the end of 40 days, because you will be different inside.
Rule 28
The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.
Rule 29
Destiny doesn’t mean that your life has been strictly predetermined. Therefore, to live everything to the fate and to not actively contribute to the music of the universe is a sign of sheer ignorance. The music of the universe is all pervading and it is composed on 40 different levels. Your destiny is the level where you play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how well to play is entirely in your hands.
Rule 30
The true Sufi is such that even when he is unjustly accused, attacked and condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not a single bad word about any of his critics. A Sufi never apportions blame. How can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self” in the first place? How can there be anyone to blame when there is only One?
Rule 31
If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather. Through an illness, accident, loss or fright, one way or another, we are all faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lesson and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before…
Rule 32
Nothing should stand between you and God. No imams, priests, rabbits or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters and not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth, my friend, but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.
Rule 33
While everyone in this world strives to get somewhere and become someone, only to leave it all behind after death, you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decorations outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going.
Rule 34
Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission a power that comes within. Those who submit to the divine essence of life will live in unperturbed tranquility and peace even the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.
Rule 35
In this world, it is not similarities or regularities that take us a step forward, but blunt opposites. And all the opposites in the universe are present within each and every one of us. Therefore the believer needs to meet the unbeliever residing within. And the nonbeliever should get to know the silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage of Insane-I Kamil, the perfect human being, faith is a gradual process and one that necessitates its seeming opposite: disbelief.
Rule 36
This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity. Neither a drop of kindness nor a speck of evil will remain unreciprocated. For not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is setting a trap, remember, so is God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf stirs outside God’s knowledge. Simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does, He does it beautifully.
Rule 37
God is a meticulous clock maker. So precise is His order that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.
Rule 38
It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one-way to be born into a new life: to die before death.
Rule 39
While the parts change, the whole always remains the same. For every thief who departs this world, a new one is born. And every decent person who passes away is replaced by a new one. In this way not only does nothing remain the same but also nothing ever really changes. For every Sufi who dies, another is born somewhere.
Rule 40
A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western. Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water..
